If you’re broken and ashamed, clap your hands! 👏 👏
if you’re broken and ashamed, clap your hands! 👏 👏
if you’re broken and ashamed, tired of getting bad advice, if you’re tired of all this crap, clap your hands! 👏 👏
Okay, joking aside, this post does have a genuine message. Being broken as a person–which can come from life events, developmental difficulties, abuse/trauma, and a host of other things–is not anything to be ashamed of. This goes against the steaming piles of “advice” you’ve likely read and received over the years, but it’s true. If you’ve felt shattered for months, years, or even decades, there is STILL no shame in it–life is not a race to see who is fastest at healing and developing, after all.
But know this: you don’t have to stay ashamed and broken, either.
Why? Because there is also no shame in getting treatment for your brokenness, for whatever has been standing between you and happiness/peace. It may seem unbelievable, but even if you have very few/no family or friends able to help, there are other, professional folks ready and willing to help you, to assist you in paying for treatment, to recommend doctors to you, even to get you to appointments. All it requires is asking for help–communicating your need in whatever way you feel most comfortable.
Now, I know exactly what I’m asking of you, and how insurmountable it might feel at first. Asking for help is often the last step of a long journey toward realizing that life shouldn’t suck this much. (I lived that way for seven years, slowly crawling my way closer to even being able to call a mental health care place–I thought I wasn’t worth helping!). Asking for help can feel ridiculous to those who have become used to the feeling of isolation and self-sufficiency. Sometimes you can even view your isolation as a point of pride, because it’s all you know anymore! (Been there!). But asking for help is also the first tiny step of a whole new journey, one of possibilities and wonder–discovering who you are again, discovering new things about yourself, and recovering parts of who you used to be.
It’s definitely not easy, and there are days you’ll long for the comfortable stasis of your old life because you at least knew how to manage that tiny prison cell of a life. Been there, too! But you are worth loving and you deserve comfort, peace, and joy in your life. You deserve someone fighting for you–even if at first, you are the only member of that army.
So let this be your rallying cry to battle, to fight for yourself and your life. You are not just someone’s employee, someone’s parent, someone’s spouse, someone’s child. You are SOMEONE and you MATTER, and the shame, guilt, fear, and blame others have put on you does not define you. Wave your flag, assert your right to exist, and claim your life as yours again.
And if you’re not quite ready for this momentous battle–that’s okay, too. You will be someday. The first thing to do is chip away at those prison walls around you, those beliefs that tell you you’re not good enough, strong enough, smart enough, worthy enough, or whatever other lies others have taught you. Let this be your cue to start taking apart those walls brick by piece of brick…and someday, you’ll emerge onto the battlefield ready to fight for yourself, too. ❤️