I’ve come to understand that healing an emotional wound is much like healing a physical wound. Emotional wounds can get “infected” with increasingly negative thoughts; they can fester inside us if we ignore them or run from them. But others can shame us or we can shame ourselves into not getting treatment for our emotional wounds.
I’m still healing from the wound I received almost six months ago…sometimes I think it’s almost healed, only for a memory or a thought to snag it and rip it open again. I find myself sometimes so angry I could spit at the person who caused this bewildering injury and the grief that followed it. I did get treatment for this, but it still hurts, mainly because of the sense of injustice that goes along with the injury. There’s something in me that screams “you owe me big time!!! You cost me my hard-won joy and happiness–how dare you?! Pay me back!” But this anger and injustice only inflames the wound further.
The only thing I have found that comes close to healing this mess is confronting everything that was said that day, and refuting it. I feel like I’m draining the nastiest fluid from my wound, and it hurts to go back into that memory and experience those words again, but if it’s ever going to heal, I have to do something like this. If I can stop agreeing with and accepting what was said about me, then I will understand how to take the next step of forgiveness (for myself and the other person). For now, though, I have to cleanse the wound in my heart, and that is a daily process. ❤️